Do not motherfucking quit

As much as we all love our beloved hobby that is pole, there is no denying that as I’ve said several times now, it can be bloody disheartening occasionally. We work our arses to the bare bones week after week, month after month and sometimes year after year on our various pole quests, be they strength, flexibility, floorwork and/or trick related and it can feel like we’re getting absolutely no where. It’s a right shitter there’s no denying that.

However, your girl is here to tell you to not motherfucking quit! I have been in the position of reaching the pissing pole plateau more times than I like to count in terms of my strength, flexibility, floorwork and trick goals (bastard Superman). I have confessed many a time that I am a pole tortoise and in all honesty I do not have the time annoyingly to train as much as I would like to, which has resulted in said pole plateaus happening. But if I, a distinctly average Audrey in the pole world can progress, then shit the bed anyone can.

At the start of 2019 (which feels like last month and I’m mildly shitting myself that it’s May already) I like the rest of us made a very ambitious list of pole goals for the year that I wanted to achieve. Some of them were more task based, such as to stretch twice a week, practice once a week and use my pull up bar three times a week. Other ones were to consistently be able to do certain tricks that had been getting better of me, but the ones that I was most excited to have a bloody good stab at were my three big strength goals; to get my Shoulder Mount in heels back, to be able to bust out an Aerial invert on my bad side and finally to be able to Aerial Shoulder Mount on my good side.

Well folks, in the immortal words of Meat Loaf, two outta three aint bad! After over a year of practice, advice from my pole buddies and thinking I was never ever going to get there- boom! The Aerial invert on my bad side and Aerial Shoulder Mount both finally happened, and in rather quick succession after each other too. It was so satisfying crossing those two of my pole goals list, which was looking rather incomplete until they had been struck off I must say! Since digging out the chin up bar and using that three times a week (I still cannot do a full chin up for the life of me, but I ain’t quitting!) my teeny bit of gained strength has helped me smash some pole targets. Booya!

There were naturally many times when training my Aerial Invert and Aerial Shoulder Mount that I felt no real progress was being made at all. There were times when I truly believed this was it for me in terms of my pole abilities and that I was never going to progress any further than where I was, which I’m not going to bullshit you made me feel quite sad, especially when I was seeing my buddies and folk on social media progressing at a rate of knots. But the golden rule is of course to not compare your progress to others in life, even more so when it comes to pole!

I hope this blog has encouraged all of you who are struggling to conquer a bastard nemesis move to firmly put on your brave face and keep chipping away at it. Rome wasn’t built in a day and all that shite, and if I, a proud average Audrey who annoyingly doesn’t get to train every day, sometimes not even every week, can eventually achieve a pole goal, then I promise you can too!

So here is to the next seven months of 2019, may none of us throw in the towel and let’s get the rest of those pole goals smashed the fuck outta the park.


  1. I recently got a pull up bar, how any reps do you do each day? I can’t pull myself up yet but I jump up then try to control the decent, just not sure how many times I should do it to help my pole training haha.
    Great post though!


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