In the world of pole dance, the only damn thing that’s better than finally conquering an utter bastard move that you have been working on for fucking ages is getting brand new pole wear. Seriously, I have yet to meet a pole dancer who doesn’t get excited about new pole wear. Therefore, I thought I would try something different and review my latest pole set of a one shoulder top and low rise twerk shorts from the badass Hoodlum Fang for you all. Those of you who follow Chrome Chronicles on Instagram will see that I have been banging on about this set for the past week like a motherfucker, because spoiler alert… it is LUSH!
First off, the pattern on this set is epic. Who doesn’t love a good turquoise nautical print, especially mermaids, sharks and messages in bottles! I knew this set would be a winner when it received lots of compliments from my lovely class mates, including my teacher herself. As a result of this, I am in fact developing a crafty and cunning plan to wear this set to class as often as possible, in order for its sexy as fuck pattern to distract my teacher from any errors that I make when busting out tricks and combos. Are my feet flexed or pointed? Did I try the combo on both sides? My dear teacher will never know as she will be too hypnotised by my nautical outfit of delight!
Another big win with this set (and all Hoodlum Fang gear as it goes) is that unlike Teresa May, this set genuinely is strong and stable. Both the booty shorts and top are fully reversible, meaning that the fabric is sufficiently thick, sturdy and doesn’t feel flimsy or low in quality in the slightest. The overall thickness and high quality of the fabric has left me rest assured that this set isn’t going to fall apart anytime soon and will survive many a ride in the washing machine for years to come, as well as a ride on the pole! (Giggity).
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A fucking massive win with this set was how supported my boobs felt in the top. Not only is the off the shoulder top a cool design and with it’s pretty strap detail is ace for anything shoulder mount related, it also held my boobs in fantastically, with no danger at all of a wandering nipple popping out to check how the class was going! Bra size wise I’m a 32D, so not massive by any stretch of the imagination but still requiring a decent amount of support as we all do, as certain pole tops have failed me in class on many an occasion, thankfully this mermaid wonder of joy surely did not, and my baps were indeed nice and secure for the duration of the class. Another added bonus with this cute top is that it rests comfortably just below your boobs, leaving a decent portion of your waist and side out for moves which involve side grips such as Scorpios.
Now, as well as my boobs, the all important question is did the low rise twerk shorts keep my flaps contained for the entirety of the class too? Well the answer, praise to the pole gods, is yes! I’m a girl who likes a fair amount of her arse out in her pole shorts, and not only was that the case in these lush shorts, but my entire poonani remained contained from start to finish! I have quite a meaty poonani, so I even asked my dear pole sister Dannis to be on flap watch and shout if they decided to shoot out and give me a round of applause mid-spin, but thankfully these badass shorts kept everything well covered. I even tested them out in one of the ultimate spreadie moves the Pterodactyl and as you can see from the picture below, they passed with flying colours!
I think one of my favourite things about these shorts is how bloody cracking they are for a Sunday Bumday. As we can see from the photo of my ass above, these wonder shorts manage to reveal a sizeable amount of booty and are cut to frame it perfectly whilst still maintaining a sturdy amount of coverage of your crotch area. They’re also very comfy and easy to both dance and bust out tricks in without riding up your crack like no one’s business – what more can you want from a pair of pole shorts?!
Overall this set is fucking awesome and I shall be wearing the living shit out of it at any given opportunity. Fuck it, if we get another heatwave I may even bust it out on a trip to Tesco’s!