How to nail your first pole performance

Well here it is. After weeks, maybe even months of practice the night of your first public pole performance has arrived! You have worked your arse to the bone, you know your routine inside out and backwards, mentally rehearse it every time you hear the bloody song (which you’re probably fucking sick of right now) and have even dreamt of your routine. However, despite being as prepared as you could possibly be, you’re still a bag of nerves.

The good news is that’s one hundred percent normal. I was so nervous the first time I performed I was genuinely convinced I was going to shit myself on stage or piss my pants at the very least. Thankfully, and much to my pole teachers relief, no faecal matter of any kind escaped from my anus and losing my performing virginity went down pretty hitch free. So, as someone who is obviously not a natural on stage, I thought I might as well share my top tips on how to have an awesome first ever pole performance.

  1. For god’s sake eat something beforehand

Even a tit like me knows that your body needs fuel to perform at its best. Routines are fucking hard work, and trying to bust out four minutes of pole on half a Curly Wurly and a packet of crisps won’t cut the mustard. Have a moderately substantial meal, such as a big sandwich or (and I swear by this one) a pasta salad packed full of superfoods (whatever the fuck they are, they sound useful) an hour or so before you hit the stage to ensure your body can perform at its optimum strength.

  1. Avoid booze until post performance

Getting up on stage pissed as a fart is a bad idea. If you’re in heels, you’ll undoubtedly be wobbling all over the shop and more to the point, you’ll be putting yourself in danger when it actually comes to the pole element of your routine. Also your friends and instructor will legit be shitting themselves with worry seeing you floundering about drunk on the pole, so yeah, don’t be a dick and save your much needed drink until after you have performed. Believe me, that first post-performance drink tastes way better than any preliminary tot of Dutch courage.

  1. Make the most of make up

Make up face

Seriously I absolutely cake the make up on like no one’s business when performing. See exhibit A above. Firstly, stage lighting always dilutes any make up you’ve put on, so do not worry about “overdoing it” because that just won’t be possible. Secondly, I find really making an effort with my hair and make up for a performance gives me a fantastic confidence boost and really helps me get in the performing zone. Also, make up is an integral part of your routine if it has a theme, so do not neglect the war paint on your big night!

  1. Don’t take yourself too seriously and have fun!

Your first pole performance is going to be something you’ll always remember and while it may feel daunting at the time, try not to feel overwhelmed by it. You’re going to get out there and kick ass, however in the unlikely event that something cocks up DO NOT PANIC. It’s not life or death. The world isn’t going to end if you can’t quite reach your invert or stick a bit on a spin. Literally nothing bad is really going to happen if your routine doesn’t go as planned. You have just had a minor hiccup doing a pole trick, not burned down an entire orphanage, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Ultimately, performing the first time is an awesome experience and a huge confidence builder so be proud of yourself for getting out there and giving it your best shot! You have conquered a fear and done something badass, so no matter what happens be proud of yourself!

Well, there’s my top four tips on how to have an awesome debut on the stage. If you have any invaluable tips too, drop them in the comments below!

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