Dear readers, I appear to have discovered a new nemesis move, one that dare I say it is currently driving me madder than the superman ever did. The superman I can just about (badly) get into now, this utter bastard however I am nowhere near achieving, and am a wobbling mess of a jelly whenever I attempt it. The fucker of a move that I am referring to is the menace that is the Sneaky V.
I foolishly thought before actually attempting the Sneaky V that it would be relatively easy to get into, and that it might even become a new favourite of mine (pah!). I mean, it looks similar to an extended butterfly which I love, relies on quite a bit of hand grip, which I am usually quite partial to as that’s easy enough to achieve if you don’t have the dreaded sweaty palms and lastly, it doesn’t look like it involves any heinously painful leg pinching. On paper it sounds like a winner of a move.
How fucking foolish I was! What in the name of our lady and saviour Felix Cane is that wobbling bastard of a move all about. I am starting to believe that I have more chance of shitting a golden egg than I have of ever getting my balance in that move. I can honestly say that I find getting my balance point in an Ayesha easier, and that doesn’t even involve having any leg contact with the pole at all!
So far, I have attempted two ways of getting into the sneaky shithouse V and both have resulted in zero success. The first was via threading my leg through the gap in an extended butterfly and the second via a genie. The problem with both of these entries (which by a process of deduction appears to be the overall problem on my sneaky V quest) is where they bloody hell do I put my arse?! I just can’t seem to find that sweet balancing spot and end up toppling all over the shop. I see so many of my pole class mates absolutely smashing the sneaky V, and looking so solid and secure in it as if they’re in a Gemini, and then there’s me, an upside down lopsided jelly.
However, I’m not one to shy away from a challenge (fucking hell it took me three years, but I eventually got the superman) so I am determined to keep training the sneaky bastard V until I too am solid and secure in it. Even if it means dismantling my sofa and using the cushions as a make shift crash mat at home for when I inevitably come tumbling off, I will get there eventually and find that elusive balancing spot. It may take until 2023 if my superman record is anything to go by, but I’ll get there in the end. I will become the master of my great, wobbling arse!
If you have struggled with the Sneaky V, or alternatively have any fool proof methods for executing the fucker of a move flawlessly, please be a babe and drop them in the comments below!
The Photo credit for my buddy Chelsea bossing an awesome Sneaky V in the featured image goes to The Image Cella.