Well it finally happened. After five and a half years of creating and nurturing my beloved Instagram account wahey! Some sad fucker finally reported me and one of my videos got removed! Although some may feel offended or angry that they have been reported, I am definitely wearing this as a badge of honour, as I can now join the ranks of the many sexy as fuck stripper style pole dancers I follow who too have had their raunchiness deemed too rude for the boring cunts over at Instagram HQ.
“But why Eilish”, I hear you ask, “was your video removed? Did you illegally post a song without a band or artists permission? Were you taking a massive shit and then smearing it across a picture of Theresa May? Were you shooting up? Were you inciting an act of violence? You reckless hooligan what were you doing!?”
Well my dear readers, the incriminating video involved 19 seconds of me taking my bra off in a cross knee release before hoisting myself up in a wrist seat, WITH TIT TAPE OVER MY NIPPLES! I’m well aware that the conservative dickheads over at Insta get far too triggered by the appearance of a woman’s nipples (sexist idiots, but I’ll get to that later) but my nipples were not even on display! And to be honest, even if they were who gives a shit? They were my tits that I posted on my account. If the incriminating content was of a naked or semi naked photo/video of a woman that had been stolen and posted to the internet without their consent then by all means that content should be removed, but when it’s a video that a woman posts of herself to her own personal account, seriously who fucking cares!? So, dear Instagram, on behalf of all the pole dancers, strippers and various other women on social media who have had their content removed and their naked bodies deemed as offensive, I have one thing to say;
Get a fucking grip. Seriously. I have seen all manner of alt right, fascist, sexist and nasty troll accounts on your page but no, a topless woman dancing up on stage having the time of her life is enough to get your knickers in a twist. It’s bloody insulting.
Everyone’s favourite stripper queen Lux ATL sums it up better than I ever could, so let me quote her for you:
“WOMEN. You are not more profane than rank violence. You are not more disgusting than racism. You are not profane. You are not disgusting. You are beautiful and your body is a gift.” –Lux ATL, November 2017.
YAS LUX. *incoming feminist rant* As women, contrary to what society tries to ram down our throats, we own our bodies. Not our partners, employers, or family members. We dictate what happens to our bodies and how much or little we chose to expose of them. The majority of pole dance, especially stripper style accounts, are all aimed at an adult audience, so choosing to flash a bit of nip to an adult audience is, in my humble opinion, not a big issue at all.
Whether or not Instagram chooses to change its antiquated rules and regulations to stop treating women like obscenities, well that’s highly unlikely. But for god’s sake ladies do not stop! Your bodies are beautiful, your confidence is sexy and your enthusiasm for life and not conforming to societies repressing standards is wonderfully refreshing. Fuck Instagram, keep getting naked.
PS- for those of you who are interested, here is my topless routine which landed me in hot water. I hope you enjoy my troublesome titties!