A review of Handstand February 2019

Well, after 28 days of trying to invent all manner of interesting and funky looking handstands for the ‘Gram, we can finally bid adieu to the most divisive month in the pole calendar, Handstand February.

The way I see it, practicing your handstands has an awful lot in common with anal sex. There are those who love it, those who can’t bear the thought and won’t even entertain it and thirdly (this is ironically the category for both that I fall in) those of us who would love to train and get better at it but are too fucking terrified to give it a proper go. Jesus Christ I never thought that after graduating from uni with a 2:1 in Magazine Journalism that I would be discussing my anal activities in a blog, but here we are!

Anyway, after that delightful little comparison, there are a few things that near enough completing Handstand February in 2019 (I managed 23/28 days, which was a marked improvement on last year’s 13) has taught me. The first is that I have definitely acquired a new found appreciation for a good handstand. Even if you can’t manage a free-standing one, there are plenty of handstands you can master on the pole such as a Bow and Arrow, Butterfly, Cross Knee or Ankle and even a Brass Monkey handstand that all look banging when added into a routine and are not too difficult, in my opinion, to execute well – and this is coming from someone who is petrified of the bloody things.

Bumday handstand

Secondly, similarly to the points mentioned in the paragraph above, Handstand February 2019 has taught me that there is more than one way to execute a handstand. I am annoyed to admit that my goal for this years’ Handstand Feb, which was to be able to kick up confidently into a sturdy handstand against a wall, I have failed at. Any ones with my ass against a wall were the result of my partner hoisting me up there. What can I say I’m fucking terrified that my arms will fail me and that I’ll topple down, smack my head on the ground and lose the few remaining brain cells I have left! Anyway, I digress. As a result of said fear of kicking up into a handstand, I have discovered various other methods of getting into some rather jazzy handstands, both on and off the pole, that do not require the traditional, kick up method. My favourite of which being planting your hands firmly on the floor in front of you and walking your feet up the pole/wall. You feel nice and secure, they make your back muscles look fucking tonk and they make for a great Sunday Bumday, especially in the straddle position as you can see from yours truly above.

Finally, despite this being my third attempt at the old Handstand month of doom, free-standing ones are still an absolute, bloody mystery to me. I mean really, how in the name of fuck does one’s arms and core alone keep you upright whilst your legs are just hanging around or waving about above you I do not know. Seriously all arms only shit (yes I’m also talking to you Handsprings, Ayeshas, Iron X’s and various other arms only moves- you shower of bastards!) is more of a mystery to me than an episode of the X-Files.

Lastly, but by no means least, Handstand February 2019 has taught me that now I have managed to develop a new found appreciation for handstands, I need to simultaneously put on my brave face and big girl’s pants and keep practicing the fuckers whilst the motivation is still there. There’s no way in hell they will be practiced on the daily, but I’m sure if I really commit to it I could get a solid once or twice a week’s handstand drilling in there. Yes I am well aware that I’ll need to practice more than that to actually get any progression done fast, but atm I’ll settle for any progression over none at all!

So here goes the pursuit of a confident, kick up handstand. How did you lot find Handstand February this year? Let me know in the comments!

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2 comments

  1. Who made handstand February a thing? I suck at handstands, I always sink into my back too much. Is there another month of something I can try? Splits September? Jumping Jack July?

    Like

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