Oh lord prepare yourselves readers for a rant of biblical proportions this week. Thanks to my immune system having about as much get up and go as a snail in a K hole, I had to miss both pole class, practice and a studio hire session I had booked to prepare for forthcoming competitions and showcases as I had come down with a nasty bought of Tonsillitis. Tonsillitis that left me exhausted, aching, roasting hot and with a throat that felt like I had two shagging hedgehogs in it, ugh, last week I was not a pretty site.
The plague ridden mess that I was in got me thinking about how even more fucking frustrating it is being ill when you’re a pole dancer (or any type of dancer/athlete for that matter). Back in the day before I began my pole dance adventure, being ill was 10/10 bullshit, but it often solely consisted of vegetating in a heap on the sofa or in bed, under about 50 blankets and waiting for the whole horrid affair to be over. Now, when I get ill, I go into an almost instant, pole related panic. “Shit! Will I be better for class in a few days?!” “I don’t think I can even stretch this week! Fuck I’m going to lose all flexibility and strength!” Those are just a few of the frantic worries that pop into my head when I’m struck down with some sort of illness. Eventually when the inevitable happens and I do end up missing classes or practice sessions as a result of said ills, oh boy will I be a grumpy cunt for the forseeable future. My poor other half literally has to witness the scene from Sleeping Beauty where Maleficent turns into a ferocious, fire breathing dragon when being full of a plague that has prevented me from pole dancing, and it sure as hell isn’t pretty.
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To be honest, I’m well aware that I need to get a solid grip on reality here, as not being able to pole dance for a week or two tops due to having a cold/flu/some sort of infection is nothing compared to a prolonged period away from pole due to injury and/or surgery. Thankfully (and I am eternally grateful for this) I have yet to experience this myself, but I have friends who have had to soldier through muscle tears, broken bones and various other injuries and have, like the warriors that they are, gained all their strength back and then some. Fair fucking play to them, as returning after a break to what I can imagine would be a lot of lost strength must feel pretty demoralising.
Also, this blog and recent bought of the ills got me thinking, much respect to those who live with long term conditions such as Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety etc, which effect how regularly they can attend pole on an ongoing basis. Here I am whinging and complaining about how bullshit life is after five days of Tonsillitis preventing me from pole dance when there are folk out there facing much bigger battles than a bout of a virul infection, and they’re bloody winning them too.
With plenty of pole adventures on the horizon, I am on an absolute mission to turbo charge my immune system. I’m taking Vitamins on the daily, cutting out booze for the entirety of September (I’m attempting to go sober until my wedding on 24 October, but that’s a tall ask so we shall see how that goes) and sleeping as much as possible in order to turn my body’s defence mechanism into a beast that shall defeat and conquer any ills that prevent me from poling.
Finally, a big fair fucking play to all the strippers, performers and professional pole dancers of any discipline out there, who have to get up and pole dance when they feel rough as hell because their very livlihoods depend on it! You lot are bloody hardcore – as hardcore as my immune system can only dream of being!
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