I absolutely bloody love floorwork. All types of floorwork included, but especially some good old fashioned floor fuckery and leg twirling. When I’m at a pole show of any kind and see a sultry badass doing some majestic heel bangs, fish flops and splitty moves, you can pretty much guarantee that I’ll lose my voice from screaming like a wild banshee in the audience.
However, as much as I fucking adore all things floorwork related, for me this love had always been a tad bittersweet until very recently. For years I always thought to be a talented floor dweller, you had to be mega bendy. It’s no secret that one needs to have a pretty high level of flexibility in order bust out a swim through, fish flop or floor jade. Lately though, whilst perusing through the many pole accounts I follow on Insta, I’ve been inspired by some sexy, sensual creatures who prove you don’t need to have limbs of plasticine in order to be a total boss at floorwork.
Therefore whilst my flexibility quest is still a work in progress, I thought I would share with you all my favourite floorwork moves that require neither a pole nor hardly any flexibility. If you’re after any tips on how to do anything more complicated than a backwards roll, then I suggest you find different blog. However, if keeping it sweet and simple is your thing, then enjoy the list of moves below, which are in order of least flexibility required to most. Please note however that I am 99% certain these are not the technical names for the moves, just ones I have devised in my own noggin that resemble them.
Smacking the platform of your shoe hard as fuck on the floor
Ooh I bloody love doing this! A true OG move that originated in the strip clubs, nothing says “Oi you cunt look over here!” more than smacking the platform of your heel on the floor with all your might. The ultimate floorwork power move that I’ll never get tired of doing, ever. In fact I might start randomly doing it at bus stops and in supermarket queues to amuse myself.
Pounding your groin hard as fuck on the floor
Another OG power move! This one needs a wee bit of practice however, as I have ended up giving my hip bones a fair old whack when attempting this move in the past, so it can take a few attempts to get the knack of it. Also this one looks extra cool if you can add a crafty twerk into it too.
Leg switch swooshes
We have now entered the leg section! First up on my list of leggy floorwork moves are some classic leg switch swooshes (like I said, I am not entirely sure if this is the technical name but it’s what I’m calling it). To do these, you simply cross one leg over the other as seen in the pictures above, uncross your legs so they’re apart in a small, bent leg spreadie, then cross them again but in the opposite direction, so the bottom leg last time is on the top this time. Does that make sense or is it a bit bloody obvious why I’m not a pole teacher? Anyway, I find this move bold, dynamic and if you add in a dramatic windmill with your hair during it (providing you have the coordination, as I just tried it and nearly toppled over), to look pretty damn epic too.
I remember back in December 2015 learning these and being chuffed to bits. I felt like I was channeling my inner Sarah Blackmilk with some leg swirly goodness. Busting out clock legs is pretty easy, you have your legs together and straight up in the air in front of you, cross one foot in front of the other and switch your foot over. Obviously the bigger of a circle you make with your ankle/legs whilst rotating the more badass it looks. Christ alive I do hope the pictures make it clear to you all how to execute these moves as my explanations are dire.
Side switching clock legs
These are a cracking travelling move! I saw my homie Emma doing these ages ago and was instantly in awe at how simple yet sexy they look. To execute some side switching clock legs, you pretty much start in the same position above, except instead of your legs being up in the air and in front of you, they’re together out in front and pointed off to one side. You then start to rollback onto your hips bring the heel of your top foot to your bum. The roll completely onto your bum opening the top knee out to the ceiling and extending your legs in a big old spreadie, then roll over onto your other hip bringing the top heel to your bum, then knees together then toes together. Et voila! Some simple, leg swirly goodness with no insane amounts of flexibility required.
These are one of my favourite floor work moves purely because they involve a big old heel clack in the middle. Also, similarly to clock legs, I didn’t half feel like I was channeling my inner Sarah Blackmilk when I learned these many moons ago. To bust out a lush butterfly, either lay on your back or propped up on your elbows with your legs up straight and together in front of you similarly to the clock legs. Then lower your feet out and around away from each other in a big circle until they meet together down by your bum. Upon their meeting, smack the platform of your heels together as hard as you can and swing both feet out into a good old spreadie. You can reverse then repeat this move too multiple times for some additional, leg twizzling goodness.
Seeing as my sorry old shoulders are no longer capable of a full bridge at the moment, a hip bridge will have to make do for now, and I for one am pretty chuffed about that, as I’m rather partial to one hence earning it’s place on the list. To make a lush hip bridge with a solid arch, start by laying on you back with your feet hip width apart (any move that starts laying down is a win for me) and thrust your hips as high as you can into the air whilst keeping your feet on the floor – that’s pretty much it! To make it look extra fancy, grab onto the spike of your heel and do some body rolls. Or lift one leg up and butterfly it out over the other as mentioned above. Winner winner hip bridge dinner.
Now this move is one of my all-time favourites because not only is it actually super easy to get into, but it looks complicated as fuck and makes your audience do quite the gasp when you add it into a routine. Plus it’s named after an absolute classic of a film. To get into your Exorcist, simply go into a hip bridge as mentioned above and bring one hand up and over your opposite shoulder, place it on the floor, roll onto the shoulder you placed your next to, look behind you and ta da! One is in a rather sexy Exorcist! Not sure entirely if the words “sexy” and “Exorcist” have ever been thrown into the same sentence together before now but hey, first time for everything.
Last but by no means least on this list is the good old faithful floorwork move that is the backwards roll. Some of you may be wondering why it’s close ally the forward roll isn’t on this list, and that’s simply because I can’t do them. Seriously my head gets wedged onto the floor and I cannot for the life of me roll over, but backwards ones I can do until the cows come home. Polishing off a flawless backwards roll is easy peasy. Basically lay on your back and roll onto your shoulders lifting your feet up in the air and over your head and lower one foot to the floor behind you. Once the foot is on the floor, look back towards it lower the same knee down for the foot that’s on the floor next to it and then your free leg should follow. Fuck me I think that’s the worst described move so far.
Well there you have it, my list of floorwork moves which require little to no flexibility. If you have any moves you would like to add to this list, please let me know in the comments!