Us pole dancers need to stop being so hard on ourselves

If there’s one thing I will say about pole dancers (lol “one thing” as if I don’t have a weekly blog mouthing off about all things pole related) it’s that we are too fucking hard on ourselves. It’s very, very rare when I compliment a fellow pole dancer on how awesomely they just executed a trick/performed a sick flow that they won’t retort with a self deprecating comment such as “oh mate it wasn’t that great, my toes weren’t pointed, my split wasn’t perfectly flat etc.” Well I, Eilish of House Chrome Chronicles, declare this self doubting bullshit officially extinct! And here is why…

Firstly, just by being pole dancers we are a fucking badass. As badass as it bloody well gets. We are badass because pole is one cool and hardcore hobby to have (yes to an extent most hobbies people have within reason are pretty cool, but I’m biased and think pole is one of the coolest ones). Also, shit the bed pole is one painful pastime to partake in. I mean, using your skin to grip on to a hard metal pole, resulting in many burns and bruises is no weak feat, yet here you are, week after week marching back into pole class, ready to put yourself through pain all in the name of making that trick/combo you have been working on your bitch. Now that shit ain’t for the faint hearted by any means, so next time you give yourself a hard time for not feeling strong, bendy or in any way good enough to pole dance, just remember exactly what you’re doing and how you’re looking pain itself, the one thing us humans are programmed to avoid, right in the face and flipping your middle finger at it.

Another thing I have noticed about us pole dancers (and I massively include myself on this one) is that sometimes we can be too progression focused to see the bigger picture. I have set myself many pole goals over previous years that have needed to be bought forward and I have let it get me down. I used to notice and compare myself to my pole buddies who had leap frogged over me progression wise and I’d end up in a right old huff. Also, instead of letting my pole journey progress organically and just enjoying the whole learning process, I rather foolishly set myself the goal of being an advanced level dancer by my 28th birthday. I am 29 in a few weeks and it’s safe to say I am still rocking the Intermediate class and tricks, but now with increased pride. So what if I’m not in an Advanced class yet? The world isn’t going to implode on itself. Yes I am still struggling with my Superman and Allegra, but I’m not going to be banned from pole dancing forever if I don’t have them nailed by 31st December 2019. No I haven’t (yet) made it through to the finals of a pole dance competition, but there’s no mad rush for that to happen either.

Ultimately being hard on yourself and giving yourself a tough time because you’re not progressing at pole won’t help you train or improve. If anything you’ll just feel fucked off, fed up and tempted to throw in the towel altogether, and I’m saying this because I have been there many times. There’s no mystery to being great at pole and you don’t need to stand naked under a full moon on a Wednesday, rub yourself in unicorn shit and chant inspirational Instagram quotes for three hours straight in order to be able to master a new trick, as fucking epic as that would be! Instead the more you get back into enjoying pole, be it just keeping active or spending time with your pole family, consequentially you’ll end up training more and smashing it out of the park like no ones business. Bullying yourself and wrongly convincing yourself that you’re shite at pole will just make you feel unnecessarily low and knock your confidence, and life is too short for anything other than insanely high levels of confidence!

I have began to embark on the quest of not putting oneself down when it comes to pole dance and it feels great so far, so I urge you to join me. Let’s hype ourselves up as much as possible because that’s what we, a community of strong, determined and badass pole dancers, deserve.

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