Lost! One pair of small to medium sized tits. Last seen on Sunday 4th May flying over west London after the Eden pole weekend blew them clean off and out into the atmosphere.
All missing tits jokes aside, Eden 2025 is the first time in a good few years that pole event has rendered me speechless. I solemnly swear that after the competition’s Showstopper category, I was incapable of speech and resorted to making a series of unintelligible grunts at my buddy Emma for the rest of the evening, until the show was over and my heart rate simmered back down again.
Eden Pole Competition is the brainchild of London based powerhouses Dominique Stagg and Lauren Elise. Founded in 2019 with the first live competition taking place in 2022, Eden was created as “a competition to celebrate and embrace dance, movement and the artistry behind sexy pole. Our aim is to encourage dancers to explore their personal style of movement and embrace their individuality in a supportive atmosphere. The competition focuses on quality of movement rather than difficulty; creativity, originality and artistry are valued more than tricks. Competitors are given artistic freedom (mostly!) to bring their visions to life. The competition actively promotes diversity, inclusivity and creativity; we welcome people of all genders, races and religions.”
So, after missing out on the first three Eden live finals (what the hell was I playing at honestly), I rapidly got my arse into gear and attended the Eden weekender this year, and fuck me I am SO glad I did.
First off, this was the first year The Garden had been added to the Eden weekender. The Garden showcase takes place the day before Eden, and gives performers a chance to unleash their creative talents without the pressure of competing. Feedback is provided by judges, but scores, prizes and all that jazz are saved for the competition itself.
As someone who doesn’t fuck with the pressure to compete, this showcase is right up my street, and the first Garden did absolutely not disappoint. The sheer variety between performers in both dance and music styles throughout the night kept us audience members on the edge of our seats. One minute you had fast performances packed full of energy to JME, the next slow and sensual slinking to Type O negative – perfect for those of us with an eclectic music taste.
Wanking over music genres aside, the Garden provides a fantastic opportunity for dancers to perform on a legendary stage. In the six years it has been running, Eden has became the GOAT, with dancers from across the globe flying to London to enter, so to provide a space for amateur dancers or those who do not want to compete to be part of such a prestigious weekend is a win for inclusivity and accessibility.
Now, onto the competition itself. Honestly how the fuck am I supposed to begin?! You know the two little kids in Home Alone who stare up at Joe Pesci with their mouths open gawping like cod fish, well Eden reduced me, a 35 year old adult woman to that. A gawping codfish of a human.
Whilst Eden’s focus is sexy pole and sensual movement, I was beyond impressed by the levels of originality each competitor bought to the stage, and how the differences between each category and the individual competitors really shone though. To those of you who think all heels styles of pole are the same, think again and come to Eden! For example, the Basework winner Holly Baker was a bottle smashing Jester dancing to Primus’ 1993 banger Mr Krinkle. Watching how each competitor (who were all of an insane caliber) perfectly encapsulate the categories of Hypnotic Flow, Basework, Showstopper and Old School in their movement felt like quite the feat of Witchcraft at times. The competitors were all so badass in fact that I ended up booking back to back pole classes the following week and giving myself what I think may have been Bronchitis in the process.
The venue The Tabernacle was stunning too. The stage was at floor level with tiered seating around it, making it perfect for floorwork as that eradicated any anxiety around fish flopping off the edge and into the audience below. There was a cool bar and restaurant downstairs with plenty of spaces for vendor stalls, which I took full advantage of and bought my first Genie bikini.
I have to say after attending The Garden and Eden, Dominique and Lauren have stayed true to their word and played an absolute blinder, as the artistry on both stages that weekend was impeccable. Multiple standing ovations were given on both nights and fucking hell were they deserved. If you’re a pole dancer and want to come away feeling inspired as hell and with your nipples blown right off, do yourself a favour and attend next year. Or if you fancy your hand and competing or performing sign up to do so. Will I sign up for The Garden in 2026? Watch this space…
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