In the words of the legendary Masood Boomgaard “some days are just fucked.” You know the ones I’m on about. When you’re bombarded with 1278 emails from some bellend in Accounts, the dog has rolled in fox shit again, you end with nothing but a subpar lunch to eat, traffic has been shite and to top it all off your petrol light has now come on. However fear not, our old faithful pal the pole is here to save what’s left of the day!
For me, nothing sorts out an absolute shitter of a day like a cracking pole class. In recent months, there has been many a time I have driven to pole, feeling like I just did not have it in me physically or mentally to train and would quite frankly rather shove Lego up my arse than leave the house. Nevertheless, the second the class starts and my instructor busts out her classic, 80s aerobics style warm up my shite mood has miraculously fucked off and balance has once again been bought to the force.
After much experimentation, I have discovered the specific formula for the type of pole class which I can guarantee will flip whatever god forsaken day you’ve had on its head. The class you need is one which is a small fraction outside of your current abilities and nothing more than that. Do you want something that’s going to push your already frazzled body and mind to their limits for an hour? Fuck no. But you don’t want something you’re going to be bored to tears in either. A class where you can achieve a good 60-70% of the content is where it’s at.
Personally, when I attend a pole class which is slightly too challenging it makes whatever shite day I’m having worse. In the decade I have been pole dancing for, there have been a few times where I have left fighting off the tears or feeling like crap after a particularly difficult class, where I’ve felt about as strong and flexible as a Rich Tea biscuit. Nobody needs to feel like a Rich Tea (mainly because if you’re reading this blog, you’re a sexy, chocolate Hobnob of a human), so don’t go pushing yourself on a bad day.
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Basically, if you can make it some of the way through the conditioning drills and 2/3rds of the way though the combo you’re golden. I find this is the sweet spot where I’ve got a sweat on, felt proud of myself for what I’ve been able achieve and not injured myself nor driven the struggle bus in the process. I also thoroughly recommend recording what you were able to achieve in class. You absolutely do not need to post this to IG if you don’t want to, but watch it back with a cuppa after class and think to yourself “fuck yeah, I did that” to remind yourself that you’re a strong, awesome, bad day conquering beast. Take that Colin from Accounts!
The above obviously applies to heels, flow and floorwork classes too. Pick a class/level where the choreo will not be too complicated to follow but one you know you can master and feel sexy as hell in the process (if feeling sexy is your thing of course). A successful regular pole class is great for lifting your mood, but a cracking heels class sends it soaring right up into the atmosphere.
To quote the OG Jamie Taylor on the Pole the Other One! podcast, “if you want to get out of your head and into your body Pole will force that to happen.” As someone who is prone to living inside their head a bit too much a solid 90% of the time, the 20 minute drive to pole followed by a class I know I will enjoy is the best remedy for coaxing me out of my head and into the present moment. If my brain, who could win an gold medal if worrying and intrusive thoughts were an Olympic sport, can feel pretty immersed in the present moment during a cracking pole class, then I promise yours will too.
I know after a fucking howler of a day it’s easy to resort into hibernation mode, but I strongly advise resisting that urge and getting to a decent pole class instead. Attending a pole class where you can crack on with a solid chunk of the combo is a massive confidence booster, gets you out of your noggin and helps to kick a rotten bad day square in the tits. A solid win all round!
Disclosure: The link above is an affiliate link, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn commission if you click through and make a purchase.
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