This jolly cunt in the photo above with me is my partner Lee. When I told him I was starting pole dance classes three years ago I don’t think the poor fucker knew what he was letting himself in for. In my time as an amateur pole dancer, I have had Lee editing songs, helping me pick costumes, joining in with handstand February, helping me decide what moves to put in routines and heck, he even filmed our last studio showcase for us!
The ironic thing about all this is that Lee fucking hates dancing. He admires the strength, determination and general discipline that it takes to become a badass pole dancer, but he’s not someone who enjoys the art of dancing himself. Fucking hell, it’s a battle of wills trying to get him to do a social two minutes of dancing at a wedding. Still, the boy has gone above and beyond in his attempts to support me throughout my adventures and challenges in the pole world.
Now, I ain’t going to bang on too much about Lee, as he is big headed enough as it is, but what I am trying to say here is that if you’re in a relationship (ain’t nothing wrong with being single either, you fierce, independent kings and queens) you deserve a partner who is going to whole heartedly support you in your pole endeavours.
I have sadly seen many comments over the years from polers, who have had arguments with their boyfriends/girlfriends over pole. “Oh my boyfriend won’t let me post pictures like that on Instagram”, “my girlfriend gets annoyed because there are other girls in my class,” “they don’t like Sunday bumday pictures” etc. Man fuck those dickheads. Jealousy is an ugly thing and partners who only try to stifle their own partner’s growth and happiness make me want to throw them in a bin and set it on fire. Your partner exists to enrich your life and not control it. Apologies if I seem bossy here, just controlling boyfriends and girlfriends really grind my gears.
Having experienced a fair few controlling relationships in the past (hey, haven’t we all at some point?), the one thing I have learnt is that you partner has no right to control you and dictate what you do with your body. If you wish to perform in pole shows in some skimpy, sparkly pole wear, you have every right to. None of my exes would ever have been happy about me pole dancing, especially not posting Sunday bumdays, but fuck it, they’re exes for a reason.
What I’m trying to say here (I’m a tad delirious on cold medicine right now, so I’m sorry if this post sounds like a balls drunk acquaintance spouting some solid life advice at a party) is that you deserve a partner who will support you wholeheartedly in your pole quests. Don’t settle for dickheads who tell you what you can/can’t do or can/can’t post.