Now, I know I said that Chrome Chronicles was going to be a source of positivity during this rather interesting (to say the least) time that we are living through at the moment, and yes the word “worry” isn’t exactly a positive one, but hopefully this post will help give us all a bit of much needed solidarity with one another right now, so please hear me out.
Is anyone else flapping like hell that they’re going to have forgotten how to pole dance when they’re allowed back in the studio or is that just me?
Because holy shit I definitely am. Yes, I do fully understand that the world has much bigger problems right now than pole dance deprivation syndrome, but seeing as this blog is for pole dance related ramblings only, it would not be appropriate to rant on about the current state of the world here. Nor is it what you lovely readers have came here to read about.
Don’t get me wrong folks, for this first week on lock down I have been sticking to my exercises like a good egg and maintaining my running, stretch and strength exercises, but my uncooperative fucker of a brain is still adventuring down a worrying wormhole faster than an exit from a superman and is convincing me that I’m going to fail at a basic jasmine when the time comes to return to class.
“What if I have lost all my pain tolerance and my knee grip has shot to shit in the break?” “Fuck what if I can’t even invert?” “I bet my bloody shoulder mount that I worked so hard to get is now a distant memory.” “I’m pretty sure those few times I could manage to Ayesha are long gone now.” “Oh Christ oh lord what if my all-time favourite cross knee release even evades me?!”
If your mind has flung similar questions at you since our enforced studio break has begun, then please remember – you are not alone! Your girl right here has also had a few wobbly worry moments too and for those of us who are not fortunate enough to have a pole at home, we are all in the same boat. As stated in my previous post I’m pretty sure at least 90% of pole studios out there are running all manner of online classes (fucking fair play to our instructors for still coming through in our time of need) that specialise in strength and conditioning, stretching and other forms of dance and movement to help us to firmly bring our A game to class when we do return. I annoyingly missed out on my instructor Eloise the beast’s 45 minute online body pump class this evening due to being in a queue at Asda, but the snippets of what I did see of the squatting, lunging, tricep dipping and ab blasting madness looked like, if done regularly, would have you strong enough to throw a fucking tank, which is one way to put an end to any worries about not being strong enough when you return to class!
Also, one massive positive I can think of from being kept off the pole for a while is that I can finally practice some much neglected floorwork! I haven’t had a good old-fashioned pole free, Pleasers on roll around the floor session in what feels like forever, so one is long overdue. One of my local studios is saving the day and doing online floorwork classes two evenings this week, so all being well I can sign up, push the furniture aside in the living room and get my filth on. Fuck it, with all this free time maybe I can finally master some complex, badass floorwork manoeuvres such as Russian slams and fish flops! Please note (and this is fucking important), that fish flops are an entirely different breed of difficulty and danger that involves some sort of face and neck twizzle from what I can remember, and I will only practice them as I have been taught them before by a professional.Don’t whatever you do practice any crazy shit you’re not ready for and do yourself an injury. As Wu Tang Clan say, protect ya neck!
I hope this blog has provided those of you who are also flapping about missing pole some hope and solidarity. Stay strong, think positive thoughts and don’t let those bastard worries grind you down, we will be back in the studio before we know it!