How I got out of a slump and got a competition entry submitted

In November 2022, your girl over here took one fuck off, gigantic leap out of her comfort zone and , after saying I wouldn’t compete ever again, entered Eden Pole competition. Now, in case you hadn’t picked up on it, I am a bit of a weirdo, and a competition which focuses on the artistry and creativity behind sexy pole as opposed to how difficult of a routine you can create is right up my street. Feeling pumped, excited and motivated to crack with creating my entry video, I hit the studio and started to practice.

Then low and behold, the colossal cockwomble that was December arrived and kicked my arse big time. I had a bit of a mental health dip at the start of the month when the two showers of shite that are Anxiety and Insomnia reared their ugly heads, whilst simultaneously contracting Covid for the first time and feeling like a microwaved corpse meant that December was pretty much a write off for me. Follow that with the fun but hectic chaos that was hosting my family for Christmas (please note that they’re not in any way cockwombles and are in fact lovely people), by the time December drew to a close I was quite literally crawling out of 2022  – and grateful to be making it out in one piece!

The deadline for submitting my Eden video entry was 1st February, and I have to confess that by the time January arrived I felt completely unprepared for it. I am not one of those last minute whizzes who can create a banging routine (or anything for that matter) at short notice, and instead am much more of a tortoise who likes to take their time. I didn’t have my combo’s polished, my floorwork sections were a mystery and my costume didn’t exist. Couple that with an already busy January coming up and you can imagine how much of a stress pond I was swimming in. I love Eden and was desperate to enter, but at this point my plate felt completely overloaded and in all honesty, I was considering bailing on entering altogether.

X-POLEDisclosure: The link above is an affiliate link, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn commission if you click through and make a purchase.

But I am nothing if not determined. I knew how much I would regret it if I pulled out, so I dug deep, found some inner strength I didn’t know I had and cracked on with creating my routine. I have to give a massive shout out here to my homie Patricia , as I had a private lesson with her which vastly helped ease my anxieties. Not only is Patricia an awesome teacher, but she went above and beyond and explained what exactly the judges were looking for, which was listed on Eden’s website. Once I realised I didn’t need to include 407 complicated moves and could instead focus on moves I know and love, the fun started to quickly return to the whole process. 

Now, in order not to stress myself out even more with the lack of studio time I had to rehearse prior to filming, I opted for the classic “work smarter not harder” vibe and decided to practice the floorwork parts of my routine at home when I had the time. Despite booting umpteen items of furniture repeatedly, this method worked a treat as it helped me not only memorise those parts of my routine, but also helped work on the musicality of the dance and figure out what sections of the songs fitted with what moves. Furthermore, practicing your routine at home in your pjs makes the whole process a lot less stressful, which I recommend to avoid a nasty bought of burn out.

In order to make the whole experience as fun as possible and really let my creative side out, I made sure I put as much effort as I could into my costume. Now, I am no seamstress nor make-up artist, but there’s something about performing in a costume you love and with a full face of slap on that does fucking wonders for my confidence and makes me really put the effort in when performing. Since working from home, putting make up on in any capacity is a rare occurrence for me, so putting on costume make up is nigh on a transformative ritual these days. And as you can see from the featured image for this blog, I don’t think I scrub up too badly! Also, bonus points to anyone who can guess the theme of my routine.

Lastly but most importantly, I got my arse motivated and determined to get my routine together predominantly because I choreographed it to a song that I fucking love. Is it a song that anyone in their right mind would consider pole dancing to? Hell no. Is it your standard, sexy pole song? Again hell no, however it is one of my favourite songs of all time and one that has special meaning to me (fuck, that got a bit deep!). After reading posts by Annie Norris and Amie the Mermaid on how important it is to create performance pieces that are authentic to you, your dance style and what you love, I decided to get weird and create something that was very me as opposed to creating something I thought others would want to watch. Again, if I don’t get through to Eden this approach may well come back to bite me on the arse, so I promise I’ll keep you all posted.

As filming day rolled around (pretty bloody quickly too I would like to add), the whole event went without a hitch and I submitted a routine that I was very happy with. As mentioned above, even if I don’t get through to the live final, I am bloody proud of myself for not quitting* and creating a routine that I am proud of when the odds were stacked against me at the time. Whenever I doubt myself or think I’m not up to a task, I shall remember how I managed to get my Eden routine together as a motivational tool. You got this girl!

*please however if you have overloaded yourself, are near burn out and categorically cannot commit to entering a pole competition do not do it. Listen to yourself, your needs and your mental health and do not push yourself to the point of exhaustion. I am definitely not a role model under any circumstances.

Disclosure: The link above is an affiliate link, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn commission if you click through and make a purchase.

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