I used to be one of the worst people for either creating or deciding I was going to commit to unachievable exercise regimes. Seriously, if you have been following Chrome Chronicles for a while, you’ll know that I’ve been forever pledging to stretch umpteen times a week or manage daily strength training moves and I’ve more often than not failed at both of those promises. This had resulted in minimal progress being made towards my both my pole, fitness and flexibility goals and gave me the right hump in the process. Bollocks.
Well not anymore bitches!
Low and behold a fucking miracle appears to have happened. Over the past month give or take, I have finally after five and a half years of pole dancing, derived a weekly exercise schedule that fits in with my current lifestyle perfectly, is actually generating visible progress and I’m bloody overjoyed about it.
It’s safe to say that lockdown has affected the mental health of pretty much everyone in one way or another, mine included. I am well aware that I speak from a place of privilege here, as I have been in lockdown with my husband (so not completely alone obviously) and I have been able to work from home, but being cooped up in my house for an extended period of time eventually took it’s toll on my mental health, and my old foes anxiety and OCD began to rear their ugly heads. My usual coping mechanisms of going on adventures, seeing my family and friends and escaping to the pole studio were no longer options for me- which left me feeling trapped, irritable and generally shit.
Getting a pole for my birthday and training on the regular again was a gargantuan leap back to normality, as creating some semblance of pre-lockdown existence has been fabulous for making feel a bit more like my old self. However, as well as getting the pole up, having finally derived a training schedule of online classes that fits tidily into my new normal (aka all weekday evening classes as I work during the daytime) has also done fucking wonders for giving the old bonce a boost and I cannot recommend it enough. Therefore, I thought I would share said schedule of wonder, and a bit about each of the classes I’m doing with you all below. Feel free to copy my schedule or use it as inspiration to create your own!
Exotic floorwork class with Anna Frost (6-7pm)
I bloody love me some floorwork, and Anna’s 100% floor classes on a Monday are just what I need to (quite literally) kick start the week. Anna alternates between hip-hop/dubstep/ general dance music one week and rock the next, so there will be a song choice for everyone in her classes. Combining fast, dynamic movements with a shitload of sass and energy, this class is the perfect cure for the standard Monday blues. Also, back in the day I used to be SHITE at anything floorwork related and hardly ever recorded myself doing choreo, but now thanks to Anna’s teachings I’m recording myself in every class and giving it a right bit of welly I can tell you- so thanks for that Anna babe!
Spinny pole (7-8pm) and Front splits (8:15-9:15pm) with Silver Cloud studios
Well aren’t these two essential classes if ever you saw them?! I am never going to master the beautiful yet nauseating art of spinny pole unless I practice the shit out of it and I am never going to have splits like one of my many pole idols Toxic Cherry unless I get my stretch on. There is no mystery to getting results in pole, and often all it boils down to is good old-fashioned training, so it’s time to suck up the nausea and pain and get my spinny and stretch on.
Middle splits (7-8pm) and Back and Shoulder stretching (8:15-9:15pm) with Silver Cloud Studios
I bloody love Wednesday on the schedule! Despite me being lower in my front splits than I am in my middles, my body seems to prefer middle split stretching way more than front splits for some reason and I can sink nicely into the stretches. The same principle pretty much applies with back and shoulder stretching, as both my back and shoulders are stiff old bastards, but they really enjoy getting the shit stretched out of them twice a week. Also, similarly to spinny pole and front splits, I am not going to see progress unless I get off my arse and train.
Static pole class – 7-8pm and the beastly Strength and Conditioning class 8:15-9:15pm with Silver Cloud Studios
Shit the bed Thursday is a brutal one. I often refer to Thursday’s classes as pain Thursday to my husband, as by the time 9:15pm arrives I am often collapsing into a bruised, sweating heap on the floor praying for the cold hands of death to carry me away. After an hour of busting out some pretty hardcore combos in static pole, my teacher Eloise the beast puts us through our paces and then some in one of her grueling strength and conditioning classes (read more about those here). With all the extra flexibility classes I’m doing, it wouldn’t be right to neglect that all important strength factor too in my training, so the brave girl pants are being put on and the strength classes are getting smashed.
After spending the past three days doing double bubble on the classes front, Friday is spent doing fuck all. If there is one thing, I have learnt throughout 2020 so far, it’s the importance of taking rest days and breaks to ensure you don’t burn out and feel like an exhausted heap of shit. I am an amateur pole dancer- I am not training for the bloody Olympics and for that reason alone I sure as hell am not exercising every day and breaking myself in the process. After finishing work and getting the housework done, Friday evening at the moment is reserved solely for slobbing out like a pro in my pjs, chowing down on all the snacks (to be honest I do that most nights because food is life) and binging Netflix. And it feels fabulous.
Much like Friday, online classes on a Saturday are usually something I sack off. If I haven’t got any adventures like a hike or a walk planned with my husband and pals, I might go for a run in the morning, but that’s about it. Socialising and getting out of the house whilst following the rules and remaining sensible (remember there is a pandemic on after all) are as vital for boosting your mental health as your exercise schedule, so I like to prioritise those as much as I can too.
Disco Stretching – Bendy backs and Stretchy Shoulders with Anna Frost – 5-6pm
I finish the week off just as it started with a dose of Anna Frost’s magic, only this time I’m getting my upper body nice and flexy to some old school disco jams. As previously mentioned, after years of having utterly shite back and shoulder flexibility, I am finally starting to see some marked improvements in it after training it twice a week. Seeing said improvements are motivating me big time to keep up the flexy gains and maintain the double dose of stretching, so that’s what I’m going to do! Also 5-6pm is a banging time for an online class- as I’m usually doing bugger all then apart from watching crap on TV, so I might as well be getting my flexy on.
Well that’s my weekly training schedule for you all. If you have any tips for creating a cracking training routine, or have your own schedule that you love, feel free to let me know in the comments!